So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize