ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
