The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
