It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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