We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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