So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
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