Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
