Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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