these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
