you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize