You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
