No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize