So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
