Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
