I am spending my child support on dildos
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
