having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize