Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Also, beer. Big fan.
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