i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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