nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
It's just like the Real World with babies
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
