i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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