worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
