Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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