what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
