I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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