you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
