Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
