You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
