singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
