I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
