He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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