that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Randomize
