But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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