I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
