hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
