Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize