he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
