Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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