so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
