im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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