i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
