Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
