i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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