Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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