It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Michael Bay diarrhea
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
