after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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