I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I don't want my vagina anymore.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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