I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize