windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
