jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
