I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
