You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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