Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
