U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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