just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
