Whod you bang
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
