I cockslap morals
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
