Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
