Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
