Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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