I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
