You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
