But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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