the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
