yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
