everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
