It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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