Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
