Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
