Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
my sisters under your porch take her home
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize