D3 body, D1 cock
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
