just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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