One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
